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On April 20, 1999, two boys decided to go on a rampage at an average public high school in Littleton, Colorado, and murdered 15 innocent people. Some laugh and scoff at what happend, but those who do are scared and don't truly understand how it's effected people, especially friends, families, and their world. They don't understand the world of hurt that these people live in. I am one of those people. I live in that world.
I remember that day very well. At my school, kids were wearing green ribbons to celebrate 4:20, a number that represents marijuana. I was having a fairly good day, and then I walked into my 7th hour math class. My math teacher had the news on, and we saw kids running for their lives. Another school shooting? I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to beleive it. I didn't know it was in Colorado in a town that I live nearby until I got home and turned on the news to see what was happening. I stared in utter shock at what I was witnessing.
Then I realized that my best friend that I've known since kindergarden was going to school in Littleton, and my heart stopped. I didn't know what to do. My friend Sarah who was with me just stood there as I tried to explain why I was convulsing, shaking my head and fighting back tears. Then I just broke down. I called my mom and talked with her for a few minutes. She said I could call her and see if she was okay. I called her house 5 times, each time getting her answering machine. I left 5 messages while bawling trying to make sure my message was understandable.
Then on the news a hot-line was given for people to call and see if students were okay. I called it and asked for her name to see if she was alright and they said "I'm sorry we don't have her on our list yet. Everything is very hectic and we're still trying to get things organized". I hung up and was crying worse than ever. Then my boyfriend at the time called. I explained to him what happend, and he sort of blew it off like it was nothing. I wanted to scream at him, I couldn't believe his ignorance, not even caring what happend to the people. "It didn't happen here, it didn't effect me, it doesn't matter".
After two hours of sobbing and praying that she was okay, I just collapsed and layed down. I was tired emotionally and physically and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I took a nap and waited for my mom to get home and when she did we just sat and I cried. Later that night, around 9:30, my friend called me. She was okay. I was so relieved! And then I started crying again. I asked her what happend and she said she didn't know much.
I remember that day....it seemed like a dream.
Every night for a week I thought about what happend and tears would fall from my eyes. I didn't wipe them away. I didn't care. They were for those who suffered. I remember thinking, what could have happend to make these people do something like this? Why? Why them? Why Columbine? Why those students? Why? Answers never came, at least not clear ones. I never expected them to.
I remember watching the memorial service on TV with my mom. We both were crying, still trying to cope with the shock of what happend and wondering what we could do to try to help prevent it. I remember seeing the doves they released for each of the victims. I remember hearing for the first time "Columbine, Friend of Mine". I remember at my school, I would give the rest of my lunch money or any other spare change I had to the fund to send to Columbine to help them out with things they needed. I think we raised over $2,000 if I remember correctly.
I lost a friend in Columbine. I didn't know her very well, but she was a good person. When asked if she believed in God, she answered "Yes, I believe in God", and was shot.
After Columbine, going back to my school every day was terrifying. I actually feared for my life. There were bomb threats to my school, even though the district wouldn't admit it. What kind of sick people would call and tell us there was a bomb in our school? What kind of people would think that a re-enactment of Columbine would be funny? What I feared most was I knew kids at school that would do something like Columbine. I hung out with them at the beginning of the year, and we were still kind-of friends, but not really. That's what scared me most. And the fact that they talked about shooting up the school.
In "Teen People", they did many stories on Columbine and the students and survivors there. It made me smile inside. "See?", I would tell myself, "It's not being forgotten. There are others out there that want to change it, too."
Columbine hit a little too close to home, literally and metaphorically. I live maybe an hour, hour and a half away from Littleton.
I've saved all the articles Teen People has printed and published, and I am planning on typing them up and posting them so you may view them. Last night I read the newest article in their May 2000 issue (Jennifer Lopez cover). It brought back so many memories and feelings, it sort of scared me at first. But I decided that I would make this page, to make it more aware that we can change this, this world we live in, and that we don't have to learn again from another school shooting such as Columbine or Jonesboro, Arkansas.
So, In loving memory of all those we have lost, I dedicate this page.
We love you.
We will never forget you.
April 6, 2000
View links to other Columbine Memorial Pages
A special thank you to those who took the time to read the full page and sign the guestbook. I really appreciate it.